My Personal Pages
My name is Bill St.Cyr and this page is devoted to sharing my personal journey through the world of my dreams and how I work with them in my life. For me dreams have been a way to turn inside and get away from the din of noise and drama of the world. A way for me to find my own personal understanding of myself and my relationship to spirit.
There is a lot more that I could say here but I am going to let the writings below speak for themselves…
Confusion and Innocence
My dream practice right now is to let go of the confusion – to let go of old guilt. To just be with the “crazy” old hippie guy who is acknowledging my gift.
It is a big piece of work for me to continue the process of not letting confusion take me out. To actually just be with the immensity of the not understanding my own pain and the pain of the world.
To even now, over 30 years after the death of my brother, to let go of needing an answer to the scream of “why?” and to let the scream be there. To not deny the scream and to not need a resolution to it either.
To be with the grief that still lives in me and to also be with the love that I feel for and from Robert to this day.
To be with the same scream that sometimes comes up for me around the challenges and horrors of the world right now and to not need an answer.
To actually accept also that on some level I do know something about the loss of my brother and about the horrors of the world. And that this knowing is “enough”. That this knowing is deeper than any “answer” my mind might want to find.
That this knowing is the gift that the hippie animus dude is trying to get me to see.
I am scared of this knowing and the places that it comes from. I am scared of how old it feels and that it is from beyond this lifetime. I am scared of how deeply anchored it is in the dream world and not in this world, although some other part of me knows there is not so much a split here as I think.
I am scared and it is easier to write about the fear than it is to write about the excitement that is growing in me too. The excitement for my own healing and for the reclaiming of my inner lineage.
The excitement and gratitude that I feel sharing this journey with all of you.
I feel some days like we are all surfers on these huge waves of consciousness that come in our dreams. I picture us all out at the beach waiting for the next wave – creating and living our own surfer culture.
I like that feeling.
See you at the beach,