From the front page:

I have been struggling with my new dual role as a dream and social activist.

It puts me in a place that is confusing at times. There is a core belief in our work with dreams, that change.….

… begins on the inside. There is also a core belief in our work, that the world in itself can often be a distraction from what is true inside ourselves.

Both of these beliefs have tended to incline me away from social justice work.

Add to that, the conflict that is inherent in social justice work of any kind and honestly there is a part of me that has wished it would all go away. Some part of me was glad to believe that my marching days were over.


Apparently they are not.

It is still true that change, at least on some level, begins on the inside. And it is still true that the world can be a distraction from this inner work.

It is also true that if your house or your neighbor’s house is on fire – you don’t ignore the fire. You may respond in a way that brings presence to the situation. You may respond anchored in your inner experience.

But still – you respond as needed.

I have seen in my work with my own dreams and with the dreams of others, that on some level the world that we live in is on fire.


That is a hard thing for me to say.

For starters, I am sitting here in my office with my cat purring on my lap. It is snowing outside. It is quiet. I am surrounded by beautiful houseplants.

It does not feel like the world is on fire – at least not to my eyes.

But the reality is that I am sheltered from the fire in ways that many are not. This is what black activists are speaking about when they speak of my white privilege.

Maybe not as sheltered as I sometimes think but sheltered nonetheless.

Last week, I was walking to our local coop, that is just a couple hundred yards from where we live. I passed this black man and I said “Good Evening” to him. He paused, more than I expected and seemed to fully take in my greeting. He looked me in the eye and said something back, to the effect of “Good Evening …………”.

I don’t remember now what he actually said beyond “Good Evening”.

I just remember the feeling, that he in some way paused and treated me like a friend and I felt touched by the interaction. It stood out from the usual, occasional hellos, I still sometimes share with strangers here in Vermont.

That same man was murdered on Sunday, about a hundred yards from my home.


I don’t know why he was murdered.

My guess is that his life situation as a black man likely put him closer to that literal line of fire but I do not totally know. The murderer has not been caught and the police do not seem to have any information. What I do know is that I live in a whiter, slightly more prosperous – and as usual safer part of town.

What I do know is that I was not surprised to find out that he was a fellow mental health worker, who was loved by his co-workers. What I do know is that he left behind a partner and a beautiful child and yet another Go Fund Me Page that should not have to be.

What I am reminded of – yet again, is that the fire is not so far away, as part of me would like to believe.


I know that the word “fire”, is a loaded work to use, in regards to all of this.

I do not want to promulgate the implied idea that you should drop what you are doing and panic in some way. I do not even want to promulgate the idea, that lives within many spiritual traditions, that you need to be “of service” as part of your spiritual practice.

I do not pretend to know what anybody “should” or “should not” do.

I do not believe that “should” is even helpful in this regard. What I am saying is that we can learn to be more honest about the hurt of the world, in the same way that we are learning to be more honest about our own hurt.

What it then means for each of us, to face this hurt with love, is something that we each need to find within ourselves.

The simple truth in all of this, is that we live in a traumatized and alienated culture.

This is what I mean when I say that the world is on fire. Being honest about the situation in the broader world does not negate our inner work. Nor is it inherently in conflict with our inner work.


On the contrary – it is our work.

We work with dreams partly because truth has been driven underground in our culture. That obfuscation affects us all, in our personal and spiritual practices. We live in a culture that pretends that everything is fine when it is not.

Many of my clients often wonder why their healing work is slower than they expect.

I also often wonder about this for myself. Why does it all seem so hard sometimes? Yet, I know the answer to this one. The simple truth, is that in doing depth work of this kind, we are all going against centuries of denial.

The truth is that our healing work is not going slow.

It is just hard for us to let in what we are truly up against. Change is not necessarily hard and slow. Change in the face of a culture that is basically comatose, to the level of suffering in our world is hard. It makes personal, social, ecological and spiritual change hard and slow.

 It also makes people feel like they are crazy.

This is why the term gaslighting, often used in social justice work now, is also such an important term for our inner work.

Here is a definition of that term from Wikipedia:

Gaslighting is a form of manipulation through persistent denial, misdirection, contradiction, and lying in an attempt to destabilize and delegitimize a target. Its intent is to sow seeds of doubt in the targets, hoping to make them question their own memory, perception, and sanity.

Instances may range from the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents ever occurred up to the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of disorienting the victim. The term owes its origin to Gas Light, a 1938 play and 1944 film, and has been used in clinical and research literature.”

While we may not all directly face “misdirection, contradiction, and lying”, I have never met anyone that has not struggled in their inner work, with our culture’s almost blanket level of denial of anything negative.

We have all at some point come up against the cascade of people saying “I am fine” when we know, all too often, that they are not. We have all come up against the pressure, to respond in kind – and say “I am fine, thank you” when we are not.


It is a disservice to us all, to deny truth.

And it is to all our benefit to speak truth to this denial – personally, socially, ecologically and spiritually.

Everything that we do with dreams, the core reason we work with dreams, is for that purpose – to bring truth out of the depths of our unconscious and into consciousness.

Much of what we do with dreams, is bring into consciousness the ways that we learned, usually from our families, to survive – often in large part through denial of what was actually true for us.

If we are to try to pretend that these family dynamics are separate from the social issues that drove our families to act in these ways, then we are living in a fantasy world. If we think that we can face these dynamics, without at least, on some level, facing the way our culture continues to promulgate these dynamics of denial, then we are sadly mistaken.

Sorting out what is really true for each of us, in the face of that denial, is a challenge that goes far beyond the current discussion about “fake news”.


But it is a challenge that is an inherent part of our inner work.

It is an inherent part of facing our own blindspots, on every level and sorting out how we find discernment within ourselves

So yes, I struggle with my own sense of what is true for me, in regards to all of this.

And as I struggle with this inside myself, I am choosing to make being part of these broader social movements, a part of that exploration.

And as I said in my post on Martin Luther King Jr, I do this all as best as I know how, from a place of love. I do this all, as best as I know how, in a way that feels true to me and respects what might be true for others.

I struggle with it all and I am confused at times and I also feel hope kindled in a new way.

For despite what we are up against now and what really have always been up against, I feel less alone with it all. I take courage from those people who are speaking truth to the denial of reality – in whatever way they speak that truth. I feel a place in me, that is awake to my own need to ally with broader movements – but I also feel my own need for allies in my own work.

So when I read Shaun King and Michelle Alexander and Ta-Nehisi Coates, I don’t pretend to think that I could understand the experience of an African American person, anymore than I could understand the experience of a woman. But what does resonate, ever so deeply in me, is the struggle we share in regards to the denial of experience, that permeates our world.


In that way these writers and social activists are also my spiritual teachers.

In some way that I don’t pretend to fully understand, this broader work supports and strengthens our inner work. In some way that I don’t pretend to fully understand, my hope is that our work will be a contribution to this broader movement toward consciousness – personal, social, ecological and spiritual.

With love and respect,

Bill St.Cyr


  1. Ann Hocher

    Thank you.

    • Bill St.Cyr

      Thank you Ann, for reading and commenting. I hope that you are well…
      Warmest regards,

    • Deborah

      Thank you for sharing your inner thoughts and experiences Bill…stay in trust..expand the love…all of us can step up to placing compassion into action all from a place of kindness.

      • Bill St.Cyr

        Thank you Deborah. Yes, to placing compassion into action…

    • Mary Ann Bennett

      Thank you for writing this bill. I appreciate how you have linked together the spiritual, the activist, the inner with the outer.
      What fire ? ❓
      I just had a dream about a tsunami wave that contained fire,
      engulfing a hotel

      • Bill St.Cyr

        You are welcome Mary Ann – Wow, that sounds like an amazing dream…

  2. DELL

    THANK YOU,,,, this article ignite the fire within me to REACH out to those who are hurting within and DON’T KNOW where or how to start the HEALING process…my NEW YEAR resolution (WHICH I NEVER MAKE) THIS YEAR was and is to LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY, SHOW LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY, TO EVERYONE NO MATTER WHO THEY ARE OR WHAT THEY HAVE DONE TO ME!!! I know I’m on a PATH of helping others to HEAL!

    • Bill St.Cyr

      Hi DELL,

      Thank you for commenting. I appreciate hearing your words very much. Grateful also to hear of your healing work which the world is much in need of…

      Warmest regards,

  3. mary kay

    Bill appreciate your struggle and journey within the world around these issues. I have been apart of so many conversations that have directly spoke to what you are talking about. I know the place of exile and of being part of a culture of people who have been oppressed. To be on fire within and without is to acknowledge the struggle of it all and to feel it as a way through. The best at this point I know to do. And to be witness to all the stories, all our stories and to ask how can I stand with and for you? The man who was murdered down the road from me I know his story.
    Thanks for writing for speaking.

    • Bill St.Cyr

      Thanks Mary Kay. Always good to hear your words. Much love to you…

  4. Katherine Bell

    Thank you for the beautiful piece, Bill. So moving. We can feel so safe and normal, yet tragedy is all around us. And yes, when the house is on fire, let’s put it out!

    • Bill St.Cyr

      Thanks Katherine, It is a weird dichotomy the “normal” and “tragedy”….

  5. Cheryl

    Wow Bill
    Thank you for writing this. It rings so true within me. I would like to know more about your dream work. Thank you for just being. Cheryl

    • Bill St.Cyr

      Thank you Cheryl. I appreciate the kindness of your words….

      If you would like to learn more about this work, there are a few possibilities. We have a self guided video training that works as a basic intro. You could access that by clicking one of the links in the post above. We also have practitioners that offer free intro sessions. I could help set that up for you if you were interested. Lastly if you wanted to touch base by phone, I don’t mind taking the time to have a conversation. If you do, email me at “bill@studentsofthedream.com” and we could work something out….

  6. Beth

    Beautiful and challenging. Thanks.

    • Bill St.Cyr

      Thank you for the kind words Beth. You are welcome…

  7. Laura

    Fire, indeed. Thanks Bill for sharing of yourself and your process.

  8. Leiza

    Hi Bill… You may like to read “people of the lie” by Scott Peck. Or conversations with god by N.D. Walsh. As a little girl i felt everything…strongley! Through the last 35 year i have…Seen through lies, demanded truth, and called out the elephant in the kitchen and expanded my bubble… In my quest for ” normal’… Just to find me. 18 yrs ago i got a tatoo of an angel under her says “I AM” i no longer buy into the insanity… I just observe and decide who I want to be in each moment.

  9. Elaine

    Putting this in terms of “what if” ~ what if your heartfelt greeting/acknowledgement to this man was in fact benediction? And his then to you? One never knows what costume an atonement might be wearing at the time of its inception to ultimately aid a Soul back to Its Home. These acts of conscious kindness might adorn a person’s journey in ways we’re just not privy to quite yet.

  10. Frankie

    good words. they inspire

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