A String Theory of Dreaming and Consciousness…
Strings for us is ultimately about relationship.
We use strings in the dream enactment work that we do, to physically show the energetic relationships that exist for us, in our dreams and more importantly in our psyche.
I wrote in a recent post that, “It is literally part of who we are as humans, to have this innate need to have who we are, reflected back to us. To have the beauty of who we are be acknowledged. To have the wounds we have carried, be tenderly witnessed.”
The challenge in regards to this though, is that this need gets repressed and/or manipulated.
In large part the deepest trauma that exists is rooted in the betrayal of this need.
The end result of that, is that our hurt and our deepest need become confused. When my brother died at the age of 20, it was not his death ultimately that was traumatic. It was my inability to process the feelings that came up for me that was deeply traumatic.
But in that trauma the feelings do not go away.
They either fester inside oneself or they unconsciously attach themselves to places in the world around us.
The miracle of dreams is that they bring these unconscious energetic patterns into consciousness. They literally show us, if we are willing to see, both how we have survived and how in our own ways we have learned to get those needs met, as best we know how.
For the need never goes away, no matter how it was repressed or distorted.
The innate growth pattern of the human psyche is anchored in our deeply personal need to love and be loved. That continues unabated even in the darkest periods of our lives.
And each of those patterns leaves an energetic trail, a string if you will, to the how and why of the way we met our needs as best we knew how, sometimes in the face of the impossible.
We each in our own way are beings of connection, to the lineage of all that we have experienced and to all we carry from the physical, familial, cultural and spiritual past. We are on a very biological and evolutionary level, beings of relationship.
The foundation of the String Theory of Dreaming and Consciousness is an understanding of that need and the disassociation that occurs when that need is not met.
The trick in all this though is that we never completely disassociate.
We cannot in fact disassociate from our being. What actually happens in trauma and dissociation is that our relationship to ourselves and the world around us is altered.
Strings of energy that are rightfully ours are taken or given away or buried deep within ourselves.
Our heart and soul is always ours, at least on a deeper level. But in the distortion, it can become almost unrecognizable.
At the core of what we do in this practice is hold these two contradictory levels of reality. We can do this in part because we hold them in relationship. Without relationship trauma and negative patterns become something to get rid of. Ironically this impulse, which is totally understandable, often only contributes to a deepening of the disassociation.
In our experience, it is only in the holding of the negative survival patterns, in relationship to the brilliance of how we survived – that there can be acceptance and tenderness.
Strings help us to see the complexity of this, in a way that is straight forward and in it’s own way simple or at least not complicated..
We don’t get lost in the morality of this versus that.
We instead see, that at the heart of our darkest impulses, there is a string to the deepest brilliance of who we are.
Instead of trying to be “better”, we get to trust our core impulses.
By bringing those strands of connections and relationship to light, we get to let go of unconscious energy and patterns that once helped us to survive but now keep us held back from the deeper truth of who we are.
Our process then becomes a dance of becoming.
Becoming more of who we are as we transform our relationship to all the strings of our lineage. Becoming more of who we are as we open to possibilities that were once not possible for us, once not choices that we actually had access to.
Our dreams and consciousness are not whitewashed of our lineages in this process. Instead they become a means of conscious relationship to that lineage. They become a means to consciousness that allows us to have choice and possibility.
While this may not be a means to heaven on earth, at least in the way that heaven is often thought of, it does become an extraordinary dance, an extraordinary path to walk in this life. It allows us to let go of our unconscious attachments to who we think we should be and how we think life should be and instead be present with the truth of our own brilliance and the humanity of our own messiness in that process.
With love and respect,